Abidardo, Someone, and The Pain

Friday, May 29, 2015

Someone tells Abidardo that she feels some pains. She tells Abidardo (Abid) that she often feels pains, and she feels that no one wanna know her pains, because so many people see her as very cheerful person.

"Do you tells about your pains to other person?" Abid asks her.
"No, I only tell it you, Abid," she give Abid an answer.
"I am facing all kind of pains. Emotional pain, pyhsical pain. Everything."

Abidardo looks at her. 
"Do you still can pray although you feel so much pains?"
"Yes, of course I still can pray, I still remember Allah although I think enough is enough for my pains. It just like endless pains for me. I faced so many sadnesses for so many time." She almost cries after said like that.

Abidardo (Abid) says, "Pain is really good thing for you. And for me too. It is just normal thing. Although pain is so hard for us, we have to accept those pains, whatever the forms of those pains."

She looks confused about what Abid said, but then she tells again, "But a friend tells me that pain means something wrong with us. A friend tells me that pain means we are far from Allah, and it makes me sad, Abid."

"We feels pain because we are alive. It is a proof that we are living in this world. You are good person, really I know you are good person. And everyone feels pain with different situations. Nothing wrong with that. How could we know about balance and imbalance in this world if we never wants to be friends with pains? Everything has positive sides." Abid gives his wise answer.

"Even death and sickness have positive sides?" she asks Abid again.

"Yes. Actually death and sickness relate with sadness. But, believe me, sadness can moves the heart the most, even more than happiness. When you feel sad, it will makes your heart softer. You know? Sometimes too much happiness can make the heart hard to feel empathy for others. That's why sadness like sickness has positive sides too." Abid breathes so deep.

"So is there any way in order this pain will be gone from me?" she asks Abid again."
"You have to feel pain from others too, my friend." Abid answers.
"What? But my pain is more than enough. No one wanna feel your pain, except you, Abid. Maybe. Thank you for understanding me, Abid."
"Look at me. Do you feel better after you tell me that you have pains?" Abid asks her.
"Yes, actually I feel better after I tell you about my pains, Abid. But, actually my pains are still there. But I feel calmer now." She explains about her feeling to Abid.

"Well, you are not alone. I feel pains too, actually. Everyone feels pains.  I ever felt depressed, almost broken. I even didn't know what kind of depressed I had. I felt like want to give up. I had lost faith in myself and people. But I changed my mind in the end. Allah guided me to a situation that changed my life. I ever experienced near death experience. After that situation I feel so many sorrow and pains. But when I got recovery, I awake, and I told myself that I am so lucky, so lucky, because I have second chance to get up again. I felt a bunch wave of goodnesses. And it changed my life to always see positive sides in my life, even in my pains. Until now, I still feel some pains, but in other sides, I still feel happy too. I still can do many activities. I still can hug my father. I still can be with family I love. I still can meet new people. And I realize, that Allah is very good. So although I sometimes feel pains, I still alive at least. You too, let's hug your pains. Insha Allah you are strong. I know you are strong. Every time you feel pains, remind yourself that you still have time in this world. That you can get up and that you still have tears as a proof that you are still a human. That you can still tells your pains to me. I always here. I understand your pains, but I believe you can handle it. We be friends with pains together. I believe you, you are strong, because you are my friend." Abid answers, then he drinks his tea with her. With that someone.

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Abidardo Tells Me Tomorrow is Better

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Abidardo (you can call him as "Abid" too) brings me some breads. They look so white, plain, but I can feel Abid's sincerity by bringing those breads to me. "They are simple white breads," Abidardo says to me. After I thank Abid, we eat those breads together.

"It doesn't matter, the colour of the bread. As long it is not dangerous for all, we can eat it and be grateful that we still have some foods to be eaten. It doesn't matter what colour of us, it doesn't matter from where we are, as long we have kind-hearted temperament, we can share good things to another people." Abid continue says his warmed sentences to me.

"How if we always try to be good people, but some people still misjudge as and think we as bad people?" I ask Abidardo. Then I look at the sky. Not blue colour for this time. But orange. But, who cares of the colours? I still need sky to ensure I am still living in this world.

"It doesn't matter what people think about us. Sometimes the loveliest person can be an enemy for some people. Sometimes the insincerest person can be loved by some people. But, one thing for sure, The Almighty knows every heart. Even if we only keep silent, Allah always know. So we should have no worries. But if you still have worries, it doesn't matter. I know you are good person, and I believe you can pass every storm. I will accompany you with my prayers." Abid gives his smile. So pure with so good intention.

"May I sing a song for you?" Abid asks me.
"Of course, please sing it now. I would love to listen it." I always appreciate what Abid wanna do.

"I actually do not have any title for this song. I create it by myself, but I am not sure if this song has a deep meaning. Umm, maybe you can say this song as 'Tomorrow is Better'. Abid explains further about Tomorrow is Better.

Then Abidardo sings 'Tomorrow is Better' :

I like all flowers
They bloom in my heart
You understand me
It makes me happy
Tomorrow is better
Warmness everywhere

I like all countries
They are beautiful
So many good people
With good intentions
Tomorrow is better
Children play around

I like all stories
They give us lessons
I like all people
They always have goodness
Tomorrow is better
I know we can make it

You have angelic sides
That's why I love you
You bring many lights
That's why I need you
You teach me appreciation
That's why I support you
Tomorrow is better
For everyone

And if in this life I see your sadness
I will hug you and make you feel better
And forgive me if sometimes I ignore you
It is because I have sadness too
And if tomorrow we can not meet again
For forever, please don't cry for me
You have to walk with or without me
Because tomorrow is always better

Love many people
Because they love you
Forgive who have wronged you
Because they need you
And remember best things always come
If you have patiences and sincerity
Peace everywhere
Love is the key
Tomorrow is better
For everyone here

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Abidardo (Someone in The Middle East)

Thursday, February 26, 2015

 Photo from HERE

I already read a very beautiful touchy graphic-novel from a great Korean author (Kim Dong Hwa). The title is "Red Bicycle". And it tells us about a Mr. Postman. So, what's the relation of Abidardo and a Mr. Postman? No relation at all. But the story of "Red Bicycle" makes me remember of Abidardo. Makes me remember the personality of Abidardo. Warm, calm, peaceful, and love to help each other. 

For someone, Abidardo (Abid) is better that the sun in your heart. Abid is wider than the sea you ever visit. Abid is wiser than any philosopher. Someone learns so much good things from Abid. Abid teachs someone how to pray better. And for seeing life better.

That Mr. Postman bring happiness to every home. Same like Abid. He always try to bring happiness to every home. Abid walks around deserted streets, tries to figure out everything he wants to. He see so many home with their own characteristics. A home with purple scenery, a home near the beach, a home with white wall, and also a home of his heart. Abid is someone who live in somewhere in the Middle East. Abis is someone who has his own struggle. You may look at Abid as a normal funny person outside, but when you go in Abid's heart, you will know that he keeps so many stories inside. And someone really misses him, but Abid doesn't realize it. Maybe Abid knows who really miss him, but he is confused to recognize it.

Abid is someone who lives in somewhere in the Middle East. Who has favourite football team. Who loves football. Who loves so many people. Who tries to always be in his own path. Who is free but know what he has to obey.

Abid is someone who lives in somewhere in the Middle East. He may be lives near you. He may be touches your soul. He may be lives far from you. But he may be sits behind you. And even though you don't realize him, even though you don't pay high attention, even though you don't wanna say "hi" to him, Abid will always be a good person for everyone, I do believe in it. 

And someone who lives far from Abid misses him. Someone who has a Sanskrit's name. Someone who is a female. She misses Abid so much, although that female always know that she can not meet Abid. After this, tomorrow, and forever. But that female always keeps Abid in her prayer. In her night prayer. In her nocturnal time.

Abid is someone who lives in somewhere in the Middle East. He keeps continue to walk until he sees the most beautiful home as it seen. He smiles widely, and tells to his soul, "Alhamdulillah." He can enter that home anytime, but he doesn't want to enter that home. He just tells to his soul, "That home should be home for everyone. For any race, for any heart, for any soul, for people I love, for people who don't like me, for people I know, for people who don't know me, for everyone, and for you too."

And a female who has Sanskrit's name always misses him. She doesn't talk to Abid, but she tries to communicate with Abid through prayers. Through the best time. Through her love. And through the beautiful forests. And that female will always misses Abid.

Abid moves toward to that home. And he smiles again. The walls are everywhere. But he believe there is no boundaries between the walls. Sometimes the walls are just illusion for eyes. For people who don't like optimistic things. And Abid will always be someone who live in somewhere in the Middle east, and someone really misses him. And the tears are there. But he always remember, biserna je suza svaka. :)
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Meachelet Lecha (English Translation)

Saturday, February 21, 2015

I love this song very much (Meachelet Lecha) by Sarit Hadad. She is a great singer. I even can not speak Hebrew at all, but when I listen to this song, the words come to my mind and my intutition says that this song is about a sincerity from someone when he or she has to let go someone beloved. And gotcha! My intuition is almost right. I got the English translation of this song. It makes me cry. It is really nice when in this reality we can find people who still pray and or wish goodnesses to other people who left them. Here is the translation :)

Wishing You
I'm wishing that you will be happy
in every path that you pick
That the skies will smile upon you
like they smiled on me
I'm praying you in a big light
that you wont experience a problem or obstacle
Wishing you an easy path
that you'll find rest and inheritance

That you don't know every sorrow or pain
like how you left in my heart
That you don't know a lack of faith
like you left in my soul
That you don't know every sorrow or pain
like how you left in my heart
That you don't a lack of faith
like how you left me...

I'm just asking only the good for you
that you'll find a wife and raise a family
That you'll have a light to know how to differentiate
between the good things and not the bad
I'm wishing that you will be happy
in every path you pick
That life will smile upon you
like it (they) smiled on me
That you'll be completely healthy and live

that you don't know every sorrow or pain...

The best doctor is the time...
and even without you - i'm still here...

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Abidardo. Part 2.

Abidardo (Abid) has to keep his words. He wants to tell us something, but he just keep silent. In the moment where some people are crying, he just keep his expressions as his secret. And he moves toward a door. He looks at the door. Just brown. Plain brown, he tells it to his self. Abid remember someone he ever met in the past. But sadly, Abid can't meet this person again in this time.

Abidardo laughs but he doesn't know why he laughs. Maybe he just laugh because of the memory. Maybe he cries in his heart, but he hides it. And Abid thinks about war. He hates war. But in fact, war is exist. Even in the heart. Some people have to pass some wars everyday. No food. No drink. No love. In everywhere. In some places. But it is so contrast in another places. Food everyweher. Love everywhere.

The wind even can not touch Abid who is so serious suddenly. Abid thinks why and why some things those he doesn't want are still exists. Is it a fate? Or is it just a game for someone like him. And the birds even don't care why Abidardo so serious. The birds don't want accompany Abid, because they even don't know what Abid thinks.

Does Abidardo think about life? I don't know. Does Abid laugh on others? I don't know. Does Abid plan something for his happiness? I don't know. I think I will let him alone. For a contemplation. Maybe for his happiness too.

Abidardo keep his words about something. Or even maybe about someone. He looks so serious. And he let some people go from his life, because he knows that he doesn't want get attached by people in this world. But he still keep a mystery that we never can solve. Because he will prohibit us to solve that mystery. Let a mystery still be a mystery, he says. And we just keep silent.
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Abidardo Can Be Yourself

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

 Picture from HERE

Abidardo (Abid) reminds me of the silence. Silence and peaceful situation in the mountains. But Abid reminds me too of the crowded things. Abid reminds me of sad-happy music. But, Abidardo reminds me of the small steps. In the towering mountains. Relate with the blowing wind that I can not feel, because I reject the presence of the wind. And some people tell, that they see Abid in a place. in that Place, they see Abidardo alone. Try to remember what happened, and maybe Abid waits for some miracles in the world.

Abidardo (Abid) can be yourself. Or one of them. Abid reminds me of worship. Abid also reminds me of the scenery from a distant land that I can not fly to there.. Although only in dreams, I can not go there, and some people will take me back to the first place I was before. And I'll never reach my dream relate with it. And Abid is only be a memory in a small thing.

Abid can be yourself. Abid can be remembered by them. Or Abid can also be forgotten by them Or even Abid is not considered at all as anyone by them. But Abid still continue his journey. The flowers stare at him. However, the trees smile to Abid. Abid lives in a world of contrasts.

Abid can be yourself. Or one of them. Abid may be someone you like, someone you love, or you hate. One thing for sure is, Abid feels peace at one side. On the other hand, Abid sometimes ask about the fairness. At the other side, Abid also make question about anxiety. On the other hand, Abid works in many sides those Abid sometimes can not understand well. Abid runs often in variety of questions. Sometimes Abid walks and then run. When Abid feels tired, Abid looks at the gray wall at the corner of a stree. Seeing the stones are arranged into a wall.

Abid can be yourself. Weak. Strong. Ok. Not Ok. Or even not ok at all. Fear. Excited. Abid awaits for various goodnesses. Actually, Abid met variety of goodnesses. But Abid still has a hole in his soul. Abid has been trying to patch the hole in his heart, but the hole is opened back again.

Abid can be yourself. Laughing. Crying. Confused. Feel the pain. Leading the way. Sometimes sits behind. Angry. Faithful. Many seasons. Because Abid is human. Abid always know that wheels are always turning. So Abid keep walking. Stepping the grass.  Planting beautiful things. Show kindness. Sometimes Abid is wrong. Sometimes Abid is right. Because Abid is human. Sometimes Abid suspects others. Sometimes Abid trusts many people too much. Because Abid is human. And maybe because Abid is yourself alone.
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A Man Who Lives in Palestine

Friday, February 06, 2015

picture from HERE

He sees his surrounding. Some people put their smiles, some people think about something, some people keep praying, some people show their sadnesses, some people feel happy. Mixed feelings. He walks to a child who wear long shirt and long pants. he hugs that child, and that child hugs him back. he asks that child, "What do you want in this world?"
That child answers him, "I just want to be happy. But, may I pray to The Almighty for everyone's happiness too?"
The man says, "Yes. Of course."

He sees his surrounding again in other point of view. Some laugh, some drink tea, some talk about their tasks from the schools, some think about their futures, some keep secrets, some build home, build love, build faith, and build better souls. 

He walks again. He sees balloons everywhere. In the air too. One balloon is on a tree. He doesn't know what the name of that tree. But one thing he knows, that tree is in his heart too, because that tree is in Palestine. He really love Palestine. And he believes that so many people love Palestine. He loves them back. To love them who love Palestine. And he loves another places out of Palestine too. Because he knows, he lives in the world. One world. And the world is not only about Palestine that he loves so much. The world is about balancing in all places. Efforts to efforts to build the balance in the world.

He lives in Palestine where he spends his time. He lives in Palestine where people are building sincerity, love, and hope. Sad and happy. Alone sometimes. Together sometimes with people he knows. But he never feel lonely in Palestine, because he always know Palestine is full of touchy stories. Because he knows that Palestine is his life. Now and then. Because he know that his memory and his dream are always in Palestine.

He sees his surrounding again. He sees an old man brings a bouqette of flowers walk around. He asks that old man, "Do you want to give those flowers to someone?"
The old man gives his wise answer, "Not for someone. But for everyone. I know, these flowers are still on my hand. So I just walk around while bringing these flowers, and I am hoping that everyone who see these flowers feel glad and warm."

He sees his surrounding again. Yes, everyone see the old man who brings those flowers. They smile at that old man. How beautiful flowers are. Flowers can make people similing.

He lives in Palestine. When one day he will fly to another places, Palestine is always in his heart. He will never forget the love and the hope that he feels in Palestine.

"I love you, Palestine," he says with his bass voice and continue his journey of life.
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A Man Who Lives in Israel

picture from HERE

He lives in Israel where he catches the sun, where he tells his stories to the forest, where he studies, where he works, where he lends his hands for helping others. He lives in Israel and love the people who live there too and appreciate people from all over the world. Sometimes he hears about the hate that is spreaded by some people. Sometimes he hears about the love that is showed by some people. He just gives his smile when he hears everything. "Sometimes all the things are just about perspective." Then he walks again, sometimes to the beach, sometimes to the forest, sometimes just walks through the street, through the dessert, through the snowy, through the shinny sun, and sometimes see the sands. Sometimes he waves one of his hands to some people who he meets in the street. Sometimes he goes to the border, to see some people who also he appreciate. Share the stories with those people. And then go back again to the town. Working. Trying to be happy. Going to the cinema. Studying. Browsing internet. And then hour by hour passed by.

He lives in Israel where his family lives there too. He lives in Israel where he can taste food that is cooked by his mother. He lives in Israel where he can see the flowers bloom. Where he can taste falafel, hummus, labane, and also shwarma. He lives in Israel where some people have curiosity at him, and where some people adore him, and even sometimes where some people yell at him. And what he gives is smiling. Hoping for the peace. The peace for all over the world. The peace where grows in his soul. The peace where some people don't know about it. The peace where some people doubt him that he has peace in his soul. Whatever some people tell about him, he just says, "I am human being."

He lives in Israel. A man who lives in Israel. Wherever he lives, he is human being. He is happy sometimes, he is sad sometimes, he is upset sometimes, he is curios sometimes. Because is human being. He lives in Israel, where he can see Mount Hermon, and take a great picture from the view there. And he sings a song that no one ever knows. He sings it slowly because he doesn't want other people hear his voice. He sings about a perception. And then he breathes so deep. And hug the world.

Maybe there is no human who is really unkind. Maybe there is no human who is really kind. A hero for you can be just an ordinary person for the other. A bad person for you can be an angel for other people. It may be our minds create what we want, create who is bad for us, create who is good for us. But it should be there is a sincerity, a sincerity for accept the people in the world. To live with the people who we think as good people. To live with the people who we think as bad people. To live with the people who we think as normal people. To live with the people who we think as unnormal people. Sincerity is the key to accept the differences. But of course we should not forget our efforts to be better people. At least better people for ourselves. And a man who lives in Israel waves one of his hands again, and he says, "I am human being. Let's be friends with me." And some people adore him. And some people stay away from him. And some people love him. And some people dislike him. And he just say, "I am human being." And then he smiles and takes a deep breath.

(I will write too about a man who lives in Palestine)

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May you always be blessed.
Living the life with positive things!

Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.

(Laurent Kate - Torment)

I Am Who I Am

I Am Who I Am

When you feel you've lost it all, when you don't know who's your friend or foe, you wonder what you're so alone, worry ends when faith begins. Don't be sad by what you see. It's true life has it's miseries. But one thing's always worked for me, worry ends when faith begins. If you're weak it's not a crime, don't you know it's blessing in disguise, to know who's honest and who spread lies. Worry ends when faith begins.

(Worry Ends by Sami Yusuf)

be your self

be your self
The sky is so clear blue, no matter what we do. The road is long, but I see the light, that shines at the end. The arms reaching in, I know you are waiting for me. Though sorrows, troubles, may gather up high. Broken glass pieces fall from the sky. Memories though sad will hold something true, shattered glass pieces, reflect something new.

(Many Times Always - Hayley Westenra)




You think you own whatever land you land on. The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature, has a life, has a spirit, has a name. You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew.

(Colours of The Wind - from Pocahontas)


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